Boasting

As a literary agent, I receive hundreds of submissions each month. From among this number, I might sign one or two new clients. Sometimes none. Generally, this is not because I can’t handle the added workload; if a story shows promise, I will find a way. Rather, far more often than not, I just don’t catch a vision for the stories before me.

Generally, I promise to render a verdict on each project within 30 days. This is because, as a writer, I know well the angst of waiting and waiting for an answer that might never come. I take no pleasure in giving bad news, but I often find that the writers set themselves up to fail. And it’s not my job to rescue them.

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Some people try to flatter me into accepting their work. Others (apparently) observed a few spiritual titles in my portfolio, so they bombard me in Jesus-speak. But I'm not here to be your BFF, and you didn’t come here to join my church; I still need to make a business decision.

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These two things didn’t surprise me, seeing as they follow human nature. But one thing I didn’t expect:

About a fifth of my submissions come from authors who want me to find them a traditional deal for their self-published books. Some of them boast of a dozen self-pub titles in print, or more. At least once a month, I get a stack of printed books in the mail. Should I be impressed? 

Frankly, anyone can self-pub a book, or a dozen, or a hundred. This is simply not an accomplishment. You want to impress an agent or a publisher?

Tell me about your platform. How well does it reach your target audience?

Tell me your marketing plan. How can I impress a publisher on your behalf?

Tell me about your reviews. If any were in a major publication, it might be worthwhile to mention.

Tell me how many you’ve sold. If it’s a thousand or more, I might get interested.

If I ask for a query, then send me a query with the relevant information I need, If I ask for a manuscript, then send me that and nothing more. Make it easy for me to say yes, and I might  surprise you. But before you boast, make sure it's something truly boastworthy.